The 3 Fears That Are Quietly Destroying Your Poker Game (And How To Beat Each One)

Most poker players don't lose because of leaks in their game.

They lose because of what's happening in their head.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. The higher you climb in stakes, the more you realise that strategy only gets you so far. At some point, the ceiling you're hitting isn't technical. It's psychological. And at the root of almost every mental game problem I've seen, in myself and in players I've worked with, is fear.

Not one fear. Several. And they're sneaky, because they don't always show up looking like fear. They show up looking like discipline. Like caution. Like "just being smart with your bankroll."

Here are the 3 fears I see most often, what they actually look like in practice, and how to start getting past them.

You can also watch the Youtube video I just uploaded here.

Fear #1: The Fear of Losing

This is the most obvious one, but don't let that fool you into thinking you've dealt with it.

Fear of losing shows up as playing not to lose rather than playing to win. It looks like cutting sessions short when you're up, to "lock in the win." It looks like avoiding volume, overvaluing study time because you can't lose money when you're watching a solver video. It looks like never shooting higher stakes because there's more to lose there.

The deeper problem is this: losing is not optional in poker. Not for anyone. Cash game players lose close to half their sessions. Tournament players lose the vast majority of theirs. If you're trying to build a version of yourself that never has to deal with losing, you're chasing something that doesn't exist.

A practical thing to try: before your next session, close your eyes and visualise losing 10 buy-ins. Really sit with it. Feel the frustration. Then ask yourself honestly, would I be okay? In almost every case, the answer is yes. Fear is bluffing you. It's telling you that losing will be catastrophic when, in reality, you've survived it before and you'll survive it again.

Once you can genuinely say "I'll be okay," the fear loses its grip.

Key insight: Fear of losing makes you play scared. Accept that losing will always be a part of the game.

Fear #2: The Fear of Failure

If fear of losing is session-by-session, fear of failure is the longer arc. It's the voice that says: maybe I'm just not good enough for this level. Maybe this game is too hard for me. Maybe I'm not cut out for this.

It will keep you inside your comfort zone. You'll play games you know you can beat. You'll gravitate toward balanced, safe strategies because exploitative lines carry risk. You'll avoid shot-taking because failing a shot take feels like evidence for the story your mind is already telling.

I went through this hard when I was shot-taking 1k heads-up sit and goes. My first month, I lost 50 buy-ins in EV. Playing some of the best players in the world, getting outplayed regularly, and running the narrative on loop: maybe this level is too hard for me.

What pulled me through was this: I was improving every single day. By the end of that month, the version of me who had lost those 50 buy-ins was basically a different player. So I looked at that result and mentally filed it as data from someone who no longer existed. Reset. New graph. Let's go.

That shift, from judging moments to trusting the trajectory, changes everything.

Failure is a snapshot. Improvement is a direction. If you're genuinely working on your game every day, the snapshot stops mattering as much, because you know the direction is right.

Key insight: When you're committed to improving, failure becomes data. It stops being a verdict.

Fear #3: The Fear of Judgment

This one is quieter, but it's everywhere.

You don't run the bluff because if a good regular calls you down, you look stupid. You don't share the hand in the Discord because it was a bad spot and someone might roast you. You don't take the shot because failing publicly feels worse than not trying at all.

The fear of judgment ties your self-worth to your results. Good graph, good person. Bad graph, bad person. It has you walking on eggshells at the table and performing competence rather than actually developing it.

Two things helped me most here.

First: most people aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are. You've built this elaborate mental model of how other players perceive you, and in reality they're busy managing their own fears and their own results. You're not that important to them. That's liberating, once you actually sit with it.

Second: some people just won't like you, and that's fine. I remember feeling genuinely annoyed when I found out I wasn't on some players' "best regs at the level" list, despite feeling well-established. And then I had to laugh at myself. Some people won't rate you. Some won't like your style. Some just won't like you, full stop. That's not a problem to solve. It's just reality.

The people whose opinion actually matters are the ones who know you. Not screen names. Not randoms with opinions. The small group of people who've watched you grow and work. Focus there.

Key insight: Stop performing for an audience that isn't watching as closely as you think.

These are the most common 3 fears I see holding poker players back.

But there is also a 4th fear that can really sabotage your progress if you aren’t aware of it.

Fear #4: The Fear of Success

This one catches people off guard because it sounds strange. Why would anyone fear success?

Here's why: success changes you, and change means leaving things behind. When you climb, you start to outgrow your environment. Friends who used to relate to you don't quite anymore. The problems you talk about shift. The life you're living starts to look different from the life the people around you are living.

For a long time, that tension made me pull back. I grew up not having much, and I'd built an identity around that. Success felt like becoming someone I didn't recognise, someone I wouldn't have liked back then.

What I had to accept is that growth is non-negotiable if you want to reach your potential. And growth means changing. Some of your friends will grow with you. The ones with deep roots in your life, who actually know you, will stay. Others will drift. That's not a failure of the relationship. It's just the natural movement of two people heading in different directions.

Dimming yourself to stay relatable is a trade. You can make it. But know what you're trading.

If you're having success and then finding ways to self-sabotage, ways to lose it back or talk yourself out of taking the next step, look here. This might be what's underneath it.

Key insight: Self-sabotage often isn't laziness or tilt. It's fear of who you'll have to become.

So, where do you start?

Pick the one fear that resonated most and sit with it this week. Not trying to fix it overnight, just noticing when it's running. Most of the work here happens in the noticing.

The players who make it to the highest levels aren't fearless. They've just learned to play through the fear rather than around it.

If you want to work with me to overcome your fears once and for all, my Poker Athlete program could be just what you need.

I will be taking on a new group next month, so get your application in now if you want to find out more.


Adam